Практика английского

Tathy
Just want to put my 5 cents in . Probably, you are correct, but it is perfectly OK for American English to say "I know some Spanish", which would mean: "I will, probably, understand if you try to speak Spanish to me". And the remark from my co-worker:” as an American you can say whatever the hell you want"

innok

This pretty much sums up everything! And that's what I'd heard this morning from my co-workers. But one of them added, nevertheless: "Nobody speaks proper English nowadays". Very profound thought.
And on a lighter note:

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Right now I am suffering from a very strong case of Weary Overload Recreational Killer

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married.
Did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?"

----------------------------------------------------------

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother,
because I still have mine."

---------------------------------------------------------

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."

"That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

---------------------------------------------------------

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really
good with the kids".

-----------------------------------------------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
that were used to put the curse on you".

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

----------------------------------------------------------

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. All the DNA is the same.

2. There are no dental records.

----------------------------------------------------------

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll
take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

----------------------------------------------------------

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

----------------------------------------------------------

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
feeling. "I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor
used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS"

------------------------------------------------------------

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display
of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since
I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's
advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

He's still in intensive care.

In,isn't it suppose to be "an American"?


Anyways, you guys, here is a little video for you all to watch..and learn how NOT to speak English.;0)))) Oh, and some of the comments are hilarious!(not the late entries though)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

and to counterpart the above, here is another great ones (parody ):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F226lI-lo5M&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQc6oBCuDXk&feature=user

<chuckle>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAJUMYGgfZA&feature=related

Enjoy!:)

..Teeheehee

patricia

excellent joke!

Ляська
innok
HILARIOUS!!!
Gane -I thought-as girls we`d appreciate it.

это называется тема для изучения английского или мы англошпрехающие пообщаемся межеду собой?

Инн, историю я не прочитала но знаю о чем она, слышала о ней а давать тексты и потом слать перевод по ним - не интересно, я лучше так чего по ангельски почитаю или с компом моим пошпрехаю, он еще и мне про мое произношение мнение высказывает...

Jazzinitup
Ирр, это английский очень хорошо знать надо чтобы понять че там эт мадам не того наговорила

Маня
Темка-несерьёзная -кое что,по желанию ,можно игнорировать.

patricia
понятно что несерьезная, просто если тут такие все спецы собрались и я через слово чего понимаю - то желание вставить свои 5 копеек пропадает

innok

Маня
так принуждения никакого если хочешь серьёзно изучать - есть тема "Изучаем английский".

Тань, я тебе перевод посылала? нет! Так в чём проблема?
Те кто его попросил тут, или через личку его получили и остались довольны. Поетому темку можешь игнорировать абсолютно без зазрения совести.
Jazzinitup
You are right, "an American"!

да темка вроде как началась как возможность для начинающих по английски пообщаться, или я не так поняла...обрадовалсь понимаешли, думала потренеруюсь, но куда ж мне с вашим английским

Так, начинай, а там посмотришь, что же ты сразу для себя двери закрываешь, а уровень у всех разный. Я через 15 лет в Америке всё равно ошибки делаю (правда в письме больше )

It is very easy to understand, but sooooooooo funny

AT&T
rbyron@tx.ncsu.edu (Robert Byron)
North Carolina State University

(smirk, true, original)

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:

Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
Me: May I ask who is calling please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
Me: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but this lady was persistent.
AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
that's right! 24 hours a day!
Me: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
Me: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up.
Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at
the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check,
can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and
$52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making
payment.
AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
minute.
Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute.
Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of
subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the
Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.
AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
AT&T: What?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold.

So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
Me: Yeth?
Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
minute program.
Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I
could sign up for the plan.
Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
helping you.
Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up
for our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have
enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little
brother...
AT&T: (click)


[I wrote this story about a year ago and have been seeing it posted on
several joke lists. I thought now was a good time to claim the credit as the
creator of the piece. I will add, because I have heard that a few think
otherwise, that the AT&T story is based entirely on fact. The original can
be found at http://members.xoom.com/Robeo for those who are interested.]

innok
It IS funny!!!
& LISTEN TO THIS!!!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs6p3YAQ7Jw&feature=related

Почитайте, это шутка о курьезах владения/невладения языка. надеюсь вы поймете игру слов и звуков. ( Aussies - это сленг "австралийцы")

An Asian woman goes in to her local NAB Branch and begins exchanging
her money. After the transaction is complete she asks the teller 'Why it change?
Yesterday I get two hunat dollar for my money, today I only get hunat eighty?'
The teller looked over his glasses and says very slowly....'fluctuations'.
The Asian woman narrows her eyes and says 'fluc you Aussies too'

Это сообщение отредактировал spark - 27.02.2008 - 08:49

Чудесный выход из положения.

spark
That is so funny! My little one told me this jock 2 weeks ago, but it ended with 'f...ck you Americans too'

spark

Hm, seems like he has some good ideas...

Get Him to Open Up
David Zinczenko
Posted Fri, Feb 15, 2008, 2:17 pm PST
... one Men's Health survey shows that 70 percent of women complain that their men don't listen to them at least some of the time.

To which most guys would reply: "What did you say, hon?" But in defense of my fellow men (and myself), I believe that only half of the fault lies with us. For a guy, talking to us is a lot like making love: We, too, need to be warmed up, and the mood and the time have to be right.

Fact is, your man may be dodging "meaningful" relationship conversations not because he can't stand them or fears them, but because he's just not prepared to talk at the times you approach him.

You can increase your chances of being heard, and earning a response, by maximizing his listening powers and attention span. Here are four ways to achieve that.

Pick the Right Time

To you, his schedule of "important" basketball games and "critical" fantasy baseball planning sessions and "interminable" bathroom time might seem to be crowding out "together" time. But all that may be a sign that he's feeling emotionally overloaded, not emotionally numb.

He needs his down time, just like you do. Maybe even more so. It's long been known that women are more emotionally fluent than guys - more verbal, with more people, on more topics. Guys tend to withdraw, in part because the areas of their brains that process speech and emotion are less fully developed.

All the more reason, then, to schedule your big discussions at smart times. The worst times: In the hour he gets home (he needs to cast off the office demons), right after the kids go to bed (everybody needs a break at that moment), and especially not right after the two of you settle heads on pillows (you need to gentle each other to sleep then, not rile each other up).

Better options: On a walk over the weekend, or over a mug of hot chocolate in the middle part of the evening. Another way of showing him conversational consideration - broach the topic du jour in an afternoon text or email, so he has a chance to think about it a bit before the conversation begins.

Save Heavy Convos for the Car

If you need to have a long, deep discussion - like about the direction of your relationship, or your suspicion that his grandmother is turning into a cat lady - then it seems natural to want to have the conversation on the couch or in the kitchen. But do that, with lots of intense eye contact and close scrutiny, and he may retreat, be defensive, or clam up.

It's the old cornered-animal syndrome, and that won't facilitate the interchange you're after. So when the topic is serious or involved, initiate the conversation in the car. Side-by-side, the way you sit when you're taking the interstate to grandma's furry palace, means he'll feel less on the spot, more comfortable.

If he's behind the wheel, he's in control and feeling confident. If he's the passenger, he's got time on his hands. Either way, he'll listen - and say - more.


Ask for His Help

Women and men tend to talk about personal problems with different goals in mind. She tends to talk them out in order to simply be understood and maybe to engender some sympathy, while he may come into it with a strict handyman psychology: You got problems, I've got answers.

So she gets upset when he tries to fix her problems instead of sympathizing with her, and maybe accuses him of not fully listening. Then he gets upset for being stonewalled when he offers solutions.

It's true: Men need to be better at refraining from an "I got it" solution for every problem, but maybe women need to meet them half way, and make finding a solution part of the sympathy session. You're both happy if she fully vents, and he helps brainstorm a way out of the mess. A team approach here can work wonders. Believe or not, every guy wants to be considered a perfect partner, as this amusing and perceptive article points out.

Do it Naked

Yes, a good time to talk can be, indeed, right after the deed. It's one of the times he feels closest to his woman, and that's when he's most likely to feel a little more comfortable talking about deeper issues.

The lights are down, the bonding hormones are flowing, and you're a team. Like women who may feel less inhibited about their bodies in the darkness, men feel the same way with their words.

The love you've demonstrated physically just might spill over into kind-hearted considerations of the verbal variety. And the deeper the talk, the more you'll learn about each other. Take this surprising quiz to see how well-suited you are for each other. You're guaranteed to learn a lot about each other - fast.

Now some people are really stupid, but...

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.


This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening,

with customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February

and March for their annual service charges on her credit card,

and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.

The balance had been $0.00 when she died,

but now somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to Citibank.


Here is the exchange:


Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died back in January."

Citibank : "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member : "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank : "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank : "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member : "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member : "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"

Citibank : "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member : "I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance."

Citibank : "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member : "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank : (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member : "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member : "Sure." (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax:

Citibank : "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Family Member : "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member : "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank : "That might help."

Family Member : " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

Citibank : "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member : "What do you do with dead people on your planet???

(Priceless!!)

innok

You've made my day! It's so true about Citi.

Eleven Things You Will Not Learn in School

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.



Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger fl ipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

ПОЗДРАВЛЯЮ С ПЕРВОМАЕМ!!!

Пусть в делах всегда и всюду
Вам сопутствует успех!
И сегодня, в праздник майский,
Будьте Вы все счастливей всех!

Забавно, любопытно и работает как успокоительное, для родителей старших школьников и студентов

High School and Elementary School Dropouts
Dropped Out, But Later Received High-School Diploma Equivalency Status
(months, years, or decades later: equivalency diploma, honorary diploma, admission to a college or university, or other schooling or training of high merit)

Dropped Out of High School, Joined Military, & Eventually Received Diploma Equivalency Status

Total Names: 717
Males: 548
Females: 169

Billionaires: 25
Millionaires: uncounted
U.S. Presidents: 8
Astronauts: 1 (Valentina Tereshkova)
Nobel Prize Winners: 10 (6 Literature, 2 Peace, 1 Physics, 1 Chemistry)
Nobel Prize Nominees: 11 (includes above and Heather Mills)
Olympic Medal Winners: 8 (7 Gold Medalists, one Silver Medalist)
Oscar Winners: 62
Oscar Nominees: 104 (includes above)
Other Award Winners: uncounted
Best-Selling Authors: 55
Presidential Medal of Freedom recipients (U.S.'s highest civilian honor): 14
Congressional Gold Medal recipients (U.S.): 12
United Nations Goodwill Ambassadors: 2 (Roger Moore, Angelina Jolie)
Knighthoods: 27
Damehoods: 3

Note: Individuals leave school prior to graduation for a variety of reasons, not just the automatically assumed "failing grades" or being a "troublemaker." Other reasons include a health problem, pregnancy, a need to help the family earn income, a tragic loss to the family, a need to care for siblings or an ailing parent, frequent relocation, war or natural catastrophe conditions in home country, unresolved problems with teachers or classmates, boredom due to education quality issues, or a desire to devote full time to an already established or emerging professional career. There are high-school dropouts in the membership of Mensa, the high-IQ organization. Alternative terms for "dropout" used by the military and educational institutions are "non-high school graduate" and "high-school nongraduate."

While it is a fact and very important to stress that more opportunities exist for individuals who have at least a high school diploma, the names on these lists also add considerable weight to the discussion of what constitutes markers of human intelligence and a person's potential worth to society and historically civilization as a whole. These names represent examples of human perseverance, creativity, and in a great many instances genius. These are the most comprehensive lists ever compiled on this subject, but are by no means complete.

http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/lists/dropouts.html


Famous Alums
Authors:
F Scott Fitzgerald dropped out of Princeton, Dec. 1915
William Faulkner dropped out of the University of Mississippi
Edward Albee (playwright) dropped out of Trinity College, Hartford, Connecticut, after 3 semesters

Comics:
Woody Allen (Woody Allen) was expelled from New York University and City College of New York
Steve Martin (wild & crazy guy) dropped out of Long Beach State College, where he was a philosophy major; though Steve had excellent grades, he says he became disillusioned upon reading Wittgenstein's view that "all philosophical problems can be reduced to problems of semantics"!!
Rosie O'Donnell (movies, tv, K-mart ads) dropped out of Dickinson College and Boston University
Ellen DeGeneres (tv) dropped out of University of New Orleans
Dan Aykroyd (SNL) dropped out of Carleton University, Ottawa

Computers:
Bill Gates (Microsoft) dropped out of Harvard, 1976
Steve Jobs (Apple, NeXT, Pixar) left Reed College in Portland, Oregon, after 1 semester
Steve Wozniak (with Jobs, founded Apple Computer)
Lawrence Ellison (Oracle Computer)
Michael Dell (Dell Computer) dropped out of the University of Texas

Other Business:
David Geffen (Geffen Records, Dreamworks SKG) flunked out of University of Texas, Austin, AND Brooklyn College, NY
H Wayne Huizenga (Blockbuster Video millionaire, owner of Miami Dolphins, Florida Panthers and Florida Marlins) attended Calvin College, Grand Rapids, Michigan, for 3 semesters
Ted Turner (media mogul) -kicked out, I hear!
Ron Popeil (tv huckster, RONCO)
William Hanna (Hanna-Barbera)

Conservatives:
Barry Goldwater ( berRepublican, Au H2O) Can you believe the anti-hippie himself tuned in, turned on, and dropped out? (Well, he dropped out at least)
Rush Limbaugh (media personality, tie salesman) spent 1 year at Southeastern Missouri State University before dropping out

Movies/TV:
Tom Hanks (actor) dropped out of CalState, Sacramento
Dustin Hoffman (actor)
Warren Beatty (actor)
Richard Gere (actor)
Burt Reynolds (former actor)
Sharon Stone (actress)
Bruce Willis (parody of an actor)
James Cameron (director of "Independence Day")
James Dean (actor, rebel, postage stamp)
Bill Murray (SNL, movies)
Andie MacDowell (actress)
Michael Keaton (actor)
Dennis Quaid (actor)
Kevin Sorbo (tv's Hercules)
Marisa Tomei (actress)
Brad Pitt (actor)
Stan Brakhage (experimental filmmaker)

Music:
David Byrne (Talking Heads) dropped out of the Rhode Island School of Design
Perry Farrell (Jane's Addiction, Porno for Pyros)
Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails)
Yoko Ono (you know) dropped out of Sarah Lawrence College
Burl Ives (appears in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas Special!)
Arlo Guthrie (singer) dropped out of Rocky Mountain College, Billings, Montana
Charlie Rich (Memphis blues musician, singer, songwriter)

Other Media:
Nina Totenberg (public radio) dropped out of Boston University

Не всё же учиться, правда?

Easy english for busy russian - Английский для занятых


Lеt's hаvе а раrtу - Давайте организуем партию.
Саn Yоu hеаr mе -Ты можешь меня здесь.
Undrеssеd сustоm mоdеl - Голая таможенная модель.
Маniсurе - Деньги лечат.
I'm just аsking - Я всего лишь король жоп.
I hаvе bееn thеrе - У меня там фасоль.
Gоd оnlу knоws - Единственный нос бога.
Wе аrе thе сhаmрiоns - Мы шампиньоны.
Dо Yоu fееl аlright? - Ты справа всех знаешь?
Вуе bуе bаbу, bаbу gооd bуе - Купи купи ребенка, ребёнок хорошая покупка.
То bе оr nоt tо bе? - Пчела или не пчела?.
I fеll in lоvе - Я свалился в любовь.
Just in саsе - Только в портфеле.
I will nеvеr givе uр - Меня никогда не тошнит.
Оh dеаr - Ах олень.
I sаw mу Ноnеу tоdау - Я пилил мой мед сегодня.
I'm gоing tо mаkе уоu minе - Я иду копать тебе шахту.
Мау Gоd bе with уоu - Майская хорошая пчелка с тобой.
Finnish реорlе - Конченные люди.
Ваd influеnсе - Плохая простуда.
Рhоnе sеllеr - Позвони продавцу.
Gооd рrоduсts - Бог на стороне уток.
Wаtсh оut! - Посмотри снаружи!
I knоw his stоrу wеll - Я знаю твой исторический колодец.
Рrеss sрасе bаr tо соntinuе - Космический бар прессы продолжает.
I lоvе уоu bаbу - Я люблю вас, бабы!

innok
Ой мамочки, Иннуль и где ето ты такое выкапываешь?

How old is Grandpa???


Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, 'Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There were no:

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon


Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . . and then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'.
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.


We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

‘grass' was mowed,

‘coke' was a cold drink,

‘pot' was something your mother cooked in and

‘rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

‘Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office,

‘ chip' meant a piece of wood,

‘hardware' was found in a hardware store and

‘software' wasn't even a word.


And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap... and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.


Are you ready ?????


















This man would be only 59 years old